200 ways to get along with a roommate

[gismo]

The total list is 200 things. It was too long to post all of it here so I just posted the first 20. The next 180 you can get here. It is saved on my webpage in a word document. If you can't get it to download just let me know and I'll post the rest of it here. enjoy

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every
morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterward, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When he does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like THEY were here again."

5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him in the stomach. Then buy him some ice cream.

6. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him that you're not sorry because this time, he deserved it.

7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.

8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.

9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that he do the same.

10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.

11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.

12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God! Where the hell am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he is talking about.

13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."

14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.

15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.

16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him and call him a cannibal.

18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.

20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him, and reply, "Oh, him? He won't be here much longer."

[gaminRey]

ha funny stuff. makes me glad that my roommate aren't into forums.

[jitspoe]

I have my on strategies

[Iost]

Originally posted by jitspoe
I have my on strategies

You just aren't doing too well with your typing lately.

[m3thos]

Look here Bonzi Buddy, this ain't fucking PAWS typing program. STFU

[jitspoe]

I blame it on everyone elses bad typing. I see words that are completely wrong, but my brain compensates and makes them correct, and then when I go to type things, my brain starts making those errors and I don't see them...

I could also swear I'm somewhat dexlysic.